I'm okay!
Check it, my peeps.
It was one time!
Chapter Ocho.
King Julien. Come in, King Julien.
Please, King Julien. Please come in.
No! No! My King Julien!
Don't worry, Mort. I'm sure King Julien
is just fine wherever he is. You know him.
That guy. Nothin' ever bothers him.
This is it. This is it.
I think we're gonna make it.
Oh, hominy grits. Incoming.
Hmm?
Huh? Ugh!
Sage, cut it.
Bird calls and monkey noises
are the only things that soothe my bloated jejunum.
Whatever. You need to shut it.
We are not alone.
Oh. Oh, charades.
Two words.
"The tapeworm in the elephant sees
all the world through a single peephole?"
Ugh! No. You circle that way,
I'll go this way. Meet you in the middle.
Stay frosty.
The only thing...
Hi-yah!
Good morning to you, too, Sensei.
Jarsh-Jarsh? What are you doing here?
The Jarsh-Jarsh is very proud of you both.
You have journeyed well, and for this,
I have a great gift for you.
Huh.
Hmm?
Come closer.
Closer.
Look into my eyes.
Whoa.
Jarsh-Jarsh! Jarsh-Jarsh! Jarsh-Jarsh!
Oh, thank Judy, the Goddess of Seafood. We survived!
- Oh? - Line up!
Everyone, line up!
I will be taking the finest four foosa gladiators
to perform at King Koto's wedding celebration.
So, show me your best fighting skills.
Wedding celebration?
- Oh, no. - Guys, my brainy parts
are gettin' an idea.
We will make a new foosa suit and disguise ourselves
so we get hired on as foosa gladiators, and, bam!
Take Koto out in a sneak attack.
Kabamma! Wham! Omslackajacka!
Forget the army. We can do this ourselves.
First, though, we gotta get on that boat.
Ted, you have a Masters in Fashion Design.
I do not, sir.
Fantastic! Let's get to the makin'.
Perfect! Oh, golly,
I feel like I'm right back in community theater.
And I will be playing my greatest role.
Colonel Theodore Sugarbottoms.
Smooth-talkin' Southern gentleman
with a penchant for high stakes card games
and beignets smothered in powdered sugar.
- Huh? - So decadent.
Ted. Focus!
Hey!
Sorry.
- Huh? - Howdy-hello
and a hootin'-holler at all y'all.
Colonel Theodore Sugarbottoms here
with the best foosa, like, ever.
Oh, secreted herbs and spices!
There you go, Mom-Bot. All done.
Timo, you are such a good boy.
Are you eating enough?
Let me make you something.
I think there's leftover kugel.
I'm good. Thanks, Mom.
I got Hans' hand. I...
Evil, crazy robot lady!
No, Mort, don't.
I fixed her.
I removed the Ultra-Controlling
and Insane Overbearingness programming.
Um, why would you put that in a robot in the first place?
I'm just sayin'. 'Cause it's odd, you know?
Do not worry, Mort. I am all better now. I only wanna help.
Oh, you look feverish.
Timo, where are the baby aspirins?
I'm still workin' out some kinks.
Mom-Bot, could you help Hans' hand lead me to Hans?
Of course, bubala.
Five, four, three, two, one...
Hans, here we come!
Oi! Did anybody get the number of that lorry,
'cause I think he ran me over.
Ah! Wait. I'm in Sage's body?
Sage, are you in my body?
All bodies...
...are one as the obstinate hedgehog discovered
tickling itself with the sharp stick of truth.
Yep. You're in there. Great.
Oi, Jarsh-Jarsh, is this some kind of sick joke, eh? Eh?
You switched our minds? How is this a gift?
That is for Jarsh-Jarsh to know
and Clover to find out.
Whoa!
That is pretty sweet.
Sage, did you know your punch can break a tree in half?
Whoa.
It is easy to break a tree.
How much harder to love a tree
with amber kisses on rough, barky lips.
Huh.
This body is horrible!
So much tension!
Like a clam stricken with rigor mortis
in a milky discharge of...
...sadness.
Oh.
Foosas, destroy them!
Sugarbottoms. Do something.
Now, hold on there one eensy, cotton-pickin' minute.
My name is Colonel Theodore Sugarbottoms,
and I have brought you, young lady,
the most fantabulous, fightingest,
most well-appointed, well-bred, well-fed,
well-heeled foosa you could ever want.
Once you see what it's got under the hood
you will never want another foosa
for those big ol' gladiatorial games
for King Koto. Yes, sir, mulberry pie.
All right, Colonel. Let's see what your foosa can do.
Come on, Mo-Mo. We're a foosa.
Shake that big, sexy foosa backside like you mean it.
You like what you see?
And all that razzmatazz!
Oh, mercy!
This foosa is best in show.
Best in show. Best in show.
You gotta take it on the boat when you go. You just gotta!
Hmm. I must say, Colonel Sugarbottoms,
you certainly promoted this foosa
as prime gladiatorial material.
You see, buddy? We are so in.
But I've already picked my top four.
Grasshopper Strangler.
Coconut Breaker.
Skin The Rabbit.
And Brian.
Um...
Brian? What kind of name is "Brian" for a gladiator?
We just gotta get on that boat. We just gotta!
Huh?
Hans!
Together again!
So happy.
As I am clearly the only sane one here,
can I just say,
this idea is crazy! We are not gladiators!
We are gladiators!
We're 14-carat fighting foosa material up in here.
Hmm, there might be a way to lessen the competition.
As a spawning thespian, I got the lead in the school play
when that oh-so-handsome- look-at-me-I'm-Chad-Wartington
met with a rather tragic "accident."
Truly, sir, in my...
Chad spent a month in the hospital and I got the part.
A brilliant idea, Ted.
Let's thin the field, boys.
Clover, the Jarsh-Jarsh has given you
the ultimate weapon you seek.
The Jarsh-Jarsh has given you Sage's honed physique,
coupled with your tactical and aggressive mind.
Now, you are the ultimate weapon.
Jarsh-Jarsh-Jarsh...
But you are not finished.
Complete the circle. Fulfill your destiny.
To finish the final step and become the ultimate weapon,
you must destroy Sage residing in your old body.
Oh.
That's the story, Hans.
King Julien's gone missing.
And his kingdom has been stolen by that nasty Koto.
I hate him.
Hans says,
"That certainly is quite a story, beloved lemur friend."
"You are my best friend forever and ever, Mort."
I would do anything for you.
I will help you retake your beloved King's kingdom.
"Together, we will find a way."
Yay!
Isn't that nice?
Do you see, Timo? You should have more friends.
I have friends, Mom-Bot. I mean, I think I do.
Oh, Hans. I knew you'd know what to do!
The soup is really quite good.
All right. No, I'm done.
What's Hans saying?
He is telling them he is leaving to go with you.
I hate to see those children in such distress.
I wish I had some hard candy for them.
Or maybe, you know, like a lozenge.
Uh?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh!
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Oh!
I totally get it. I understand you perfectly.
What the heck did she say?
I did not catch a word of it. Woof!
Mrs. Hans is very angry with you, Mort.
Hans has something here.
A chance to do things differently
with his undead life and his undead family.
He can't just go running off with you, Mort.
Huh?
I am so sorry, Mrs. Hans.
You should kick me. Don't hold back. I can take it.
I'm mostly sawdust and bird guano in the middle. Kick me.
Here, let me help you... Oh!
Oh.
Eh...
Mm-hmm.
Okay, we're ready. Let's do this.
Uh, I'm not sure...
Lemur-up, Mo-Mo. We are on the path to greatness.
Do you smell it?
Do you smell the greatness? Greatness!
Yo, homie, 'sup and stuff.
Come over.
Not the sharpest pinata in the closet,
know what I'm sayin'?
Check it.
No, right here. Here. No. Too close.
Don't stand so close. Right here.
No. Stand here.
Now, Ted.
Oh, golly, here goes. Ha!
Perfect. One down and... Huh?
Uh... Oh! Did you see that? Uh...
That, uh, foosa over there
just dropped that rock on you. Oh, my.
Are you really gonna take that? The nerve.
What happened to my gladiators?
I don't know.
Clover needs to work on her stretch.
Her calves are like paperweights.
Glutes...
...so stiff.
Sage! We have to get out of here right now!
Jarsh-Jarsh wants me to kill you!
What? That makes no sense.
Jarsh-Jarsh-Jarsh.
Clover speaks the truth.
She must destroy you to become the ultimate weapon.
Why, sensei? This is not the path you taught me.
I don't understand.
You never understood anything, Sage.
The Jarsh-Jarsh was just using you
to chew off the hard-to-reach mud from my back fin.
And to look pretty on my arm when we go to theater.
You are a loser, Sage.
You have always been a loser.
You lost to your brother, Koto,
and now, you will lose to Clover.
Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser!
No! No!
Jarsh-Jarsh?
Oh, Jarsh.
Now, I finish this.
Wait.
Ugh! There's some weird emotion
flooding through me right now.
Something very strange. It's...
It's peace.
Calm.
Don't do it, Sage.
You shouldn't hurt him, Sage, no matter how annoying he is
or how much mud or other questionable things
he vomits in your face.
The words you are saying, I don't get it.
All right. Let me try in a way that I think you'll understand.
The fruit of anger is like eating
the nits off a monkey's bottom.
Sure, they're nutritious, and the monkey's kinda grateful,
but in the end,
the universe still sings to the night
with a mouthful of dharma.
You're right, Clover. It's so clear when you put it that way.
Master, I let you live only thanks to Clover
and her sense of peace.
Jarsh. You have done it!
You have both succeeded.
The Sage found his rage.
- The Clover found her peace. - Huh?
Both overcame the final test.
You are now ready.
Together, you are the ultimate weapon.
There is no more the Jarsh-Jarsh can teach you.
Namaste.
- Now, wake up. - Huh?
Wake up...
Huh?
Watch the mud! How many times am I going to... Wait.
Oh! I'm me again!
Oh! Feels good! Yeah!
Wow! That was... Phew!
Think I really learned a powerful lesson there. Huh.
Your master, Jarsh-Jarsh, he really is a genius.
Shocking.
Truly, the Jarsh-Jarsh
is the greatest teacher that has ever lived.
Like, ever!
Jarsh-Jarsh!
Jarsh-Jarsh, Jarsh-Jarsh.
Wait, Hans. It's not what you think.
I'm not trying to steal your wife.
And not that she isn't gorgeous.
I came here for help with my family
without realizing you have your
own undead family now to protect and feed.
I mean, if you do eat. I'm not sure, there.
I'm sorry if we caused any trouble.
I just wanted a way to help King Julien.
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
Mm-hmm. Hmm?
Hmm. Mmm?
He says if you wanna defeat Koto, you should raise an army.
Well, sure. Easy for a dead guy to say.
He can just dig one up.
But where are we gonna get an army?
I know where.
We did it, Mo-Mo. Next stop, gladiator school.
We are so gonna get our shot at Koto.
Ah! We're gonna take him out. I just know it.
From this point on, nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can stop us 'cause the worst is behind us.
We have jumped over the highest obstacle.
We have cleared sailing in the sea.
You can smell the freedom.
There is nothing ever in the entire universal structures
that we know of,
in mankind time-space continuum,
that could ever, ever get in our way!
Welcome, welcome, welcome
to my gladiator school.
I hope some of you can survive long enough to thank me.
Although I doubt it.
Aw, snap!
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